If you've never lived with two English Mastiffs...
I'm not sure I can adequately prepare you.
They are equal parts majestic, lovable, protective...
And complete buffoons.
Naomi, our sweet Mimi, is exactly what you'd expect from the older, wiser sister.
Patient.
Gentle.
Calm.
She somehow manages to tolerate the daily chaos with remarkable grace.
Then there's Zoey.
Bless her.
Zoey wakes up every morning and makes it everyone else's adventure.
She's over one hundred pounds of enthusiasm with approximately three working brain cells.
And somehow...
We adore her.
She barks at shadows.
Then scares herself.
Then runs away from the thing she barked at.
Sometimes she gets so startled that she forgets basic dog responsibilities altogether.
We'll leave it at that.
She has also been known to attempt to attack the ground.
The ground has won every single time.
Occasionally she'll get so excited that she forgets where her feet are.
Walls become suggestions.
Furniture becomes obstacles.
Her own legs become optional.
Watching her run is a little like watching a baby giraffe discover gravity for the first time.
Grace is... not her spiritual gift.
But don't let the goofiness fool you.
The moment one of us is hurting, everything changes.
Somehow these giant oafs always know.
They quietly wander over.
Rest one impossibly heavy head in your lap.
Or lean their entire body against you until you're practically pinned to the couch.
It's their way of saying,
"I'm here."
No words.
Just love.
Mimi has another hidden talent.
Mouse hunting.
I still don't entirely understand how something the size of a small horse manages to catch mice...
But she does.
Meanwhile, Zoey is probably still negotiating with her own shadow.
The girls have also taught us one very important lesson.
People imagine owning giant dogs means long, majestic walks through the neighborhood.
It does not.
You don't walk English Mastiffs.
Eventually...
You negotiate with them.
And if negotiations fail...
You're dragging, or carrying, one hundred and twenty pounds of stubbornness back toward the house while your neighbors pretend not to laugh.
The funniest part is that neither one of them has any idea how big they are.
Personal space?
Never heard of it.
If you're sitting down, congratulations.
You've become furniture.
If you're lying in bed, congratulations.
You're now sharing it.
If you're sad...
You're about to have a mastiff in your lap.
Whether you wanted one or not.
Life with giant dogs is loud.
Messy.
Occasionally expensive.
Frequently embarrassing.
And absolutely wonderful.
I honestly can't imagine our home without them.
Even if Zoey still thinks the ground is suspicious.
Until next time, there's always another chair by the fire waiting for you.
— Cara
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